couch.

my mom bought a new couch for the computer room.

it apparently isn't squishy like the one that was on display in the store. 

(i want you to pronounce squishy like squooshy when reading. i just think that squishy is the more correct spelling.)

and my brother says it looks like a couch that someone's grandfather would die on.

so my mom has made an appointment at 2pm tomorrow afternoon for the  man from the couch store to come to our house and sit on our couch and see that is not squishy (you know what to do) like the one that she saw in the store.

i couldn't make this stuff up if i tried.

nope.

well, here i am in richmond. 

i should have been in new york 2 hours ago but, in typical delta fashion, my flight was canceled. this morning, i predicted that my flight tonight would be canceled and matt thought i was some sort of psychic when the cancellation actually occurred. but really the reason i assumed my flight would be canceled was because literalllly my past 5 flights on delta have been canceled.  delta is the absolute worst. and it only took me 5 times to realize. i catch on quick hmmm.

also when i got to the airport my bag weighed 66.5 pounds and apparently anything over 50 pounds is 90 DOLLARS. which i think is a BIT extreme. so while i waited in the line of 300 complaining delta customers, i waited in the line wearing 16.5 extra pounds of clothes. (i'm serious.)

6 am flight tomorrow morning. BLAH. good morning new york city.

just sayin,

i really like giving the thank you wave to people when they let me cut in front of them when i'm driving. today it was MADNESS at the mall. seriously. it took me 30 minutes to LEAVE. it was awful. and then a little sweetie in a blue suburban let me cut and i gave her the thank you wave. and i loved it. i actually gave her three i think. one before cutting when she nodded that she would wait for me to go. one as i was going. and one as i drove away. i just think that's good etiquette. 

it's funny that etiquette is spelled so fancy since it's sort of about being fancy. stacy loves fancifying words that aren't fancy. she spells flavors like flavours. and colors like colours. maybe she's not that fancy and she just really likes using u's. i don't know. but if etiquette was spelled etiket (well that would be awful, but you know what i mean) stacy would LOVE to spell it etiquette.

daraaaaa

one time, i got these glasses. i still like them.

this is my dad.

my dad is the smartest person in the world. a lot of people say that about their dads but my dad actually kind of is. he was on jeopardy and he reads encyclopedias sometimes. for fun. when he was 4 he got some weird obsession with the presidents and since then decided to know everything about every president. he can name them backwards and forwards in under a minute. he can tell you their wives, their children, their birthdays, their favorite food, and their 5th grade teachers. seriously. my brother is the same way. they do this thing called presidential math. (i know) so basically my dad will say something like okkkk the square root of abraham lincoln minus thomas jefferson. and then it would be george washington. because 4-3=1 and the first president of the united states was george washington. i'm sort of embarassed writing this because i feel like it makes me nerdy by association. but my dad is so cute. anyways. this was at the airport.

this is snow

ooo this is too good.

mom.

my mom lost her contacts. 

that wouldn't be weird if say, she had knowingly dropped a contact when putting it in her eye or misplaced her entire contact case. 

but no, my mom knows exactly where her contact case is. she just hasn't  the faintest idea of where her actual contacts could be.

so i said... "have you checked your eyes?"

to which my mom responded by picking up newspapers and sugar packets to see how well she could read.

she doesn't think they are in her eyes. but she's not positive.

day 2

nothing too exciting to report. i'm still bad at skiing and i'm still wearing a helmet. (not at the moment, but on the slopes) oooo on the slopes, i sound so legit.

in other news, my ski jacket is stuck on me. i've been wearing it for oh, the last 9 hours. the zipper is broken and stuck at the top. i'm beginning to get a little claustrophobic. it's great when i'm outside but now that i'm sitting in the hotel lobby, it's a little warm.

i need a really good pair of scissors. or i'm going to be permanently un-trendy for the rest of my life.

my dad said "ready to shred?"

so i'm in colorado. in vail. with my family. on a SKI trip. i haven't been skiing in SOOOOO long. i think the last ski trip i took i was wearing an XOXO shirt and i braided my entire head to look more "sporty". if that gives you an idea of how long ago it was.

the day started out pretty well. aside from my mismatched ski outfit (jenkos! my ski pants are jenkos.) well not literally but they were sagging all day and my mom told me i looked like a rapper. picture a realllllly cute ski outfit and then picture the exact opposite. with some baby blue. and black. and orange ski goggles! and a HELMET. my dad says helmets are absoLUTELY necessary and while i looked so muchhh less cool than i normally do on my usual basis, the helmet did prove useful to me in the later half of the day.

anywaysss.. i started out pretty well, though i congratulated myself that i was doing exceptionally well. i may or may not have sent out a few text messages about what an AMAZING skier i was...  i now realize the reason my moves seemed so expert was that i was skiing with our family friend who was a first time skier and her ski move's extended to knowing how to buckle her boots and tie her gloves together. comparingly, i was prettttty great.

fast forward to the second half of the day and my skiing wasn't as up to par. this time, i skied with my entire family.  scott is like a champion snowboarder, he wore neon colors and would do flips off cliffs while i'd cry about how i couldn't get down a hill. mark isn't nearly as good as scott but he was doing some sort of backwards moonwalk at some point that my mom found really impressive. my dad dropped a ski pole off the chair lift while he was fixing his gloves so the fact that he skied the rest of the day with one pole was enough to outdo me. and my mom had the greatest day of her life because she apparently finally learned to turn. who knows. she also talked about "paralleling" all day. which i believe just translates to "the normal way to ski" but for the entire day my mom's conversations went as so:

"oh i fell because i was trying to parallel!!"

"lauren!!!! just PARALLEL!!!!!"

and so on...

and. i FELL.. TWICE. one time was just a little baby fall no biggie got up , dusted myself off and tried again (RIP aliyah)

but the second fall was literally a first place blue ribbon grand prize gymnastics backwards flip down a hill that sent my skis and poles in 4 different directions. oh, that's where my helmet ended up being necessary. thanks dad.

so after my gymnastics back handspring fall i decided i despised skiing and i would ski down the mountain the rest of the time complaining about how i was unable to ski down the mountain. i was an absolute pleasure.

i think i should be ok tomorrow as long as i stick to mountains with names of baby animals written in arial font (bunny hop, lionshead, eagle baby whatever) and stear clear of any mountains my brother would go on that tend to have signs with names in grafitti like chaos canyon and catastrophe cliff. 

okkkkk until tomorrow.

byeeeee

OMG OMG YAY YAY YAYYYYYY WOOOO

IM SO EXCITED I WAS JUST DOING CHECK INS AT ALBRIGHT AND I WAS CHECKING IN SCARFS AND SHOES AND BAGS AND THEN SOMETHING FALLS INTO MY HAND LITERALLY FALLS OUT OF A BAG INTO MY HAND AND LIKE FATE I LOOK DOWN AND WHAT IS IT!??! MY BABY CUTIE FACE FOX RING MY PRIDE AND JOY MY FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY IS BACKKKKK. I AM SO THRILLED I CAN ONLY WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS YAYYY I PROMISE TO NEVER LOSE YOU AGAIN AND ACCIDENTALLY SEND YOU OUT ON A FASHION SHOOT WHERE YOU DO NOT BELONG I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON BUT A TERRIBLE PERSON WITH THE CUTEST FOX RING EVERRRRR YESSSSSSS.

FAVORITE DAY.

what the hell am i wearing.

ATTENTION NEW YORK CITY.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS RING??

it was last seen going onto my finger at my apartment around 8:37 this morning. it could possibly be in gramercy, on the

 6 train, or in astor place.

it is a little baby fox covered in bling given to me by one of my favorite people. sorry jen... love you.

if you find it i know it's realllllly great and i would never give it back if i found it but please do because it will never be loved by anyone as much as it was loved by me.

ugh.