a tragedy.

last night, i thought i was dying. i'm serious. the thought crossed my mind. all of a sudden, my temperature rose to literally 879 degrees. well not realllly literally but definitely somewhere close to that. it was the hottest i have ever felt in my entire life. i put my air conditioning on full blast and even then, my temperature was at least 748 degrees.  it was AWFUL. i started saying my goodbyes to my room and planning who would get what. i deliriously texted maxx saying "i feel like jack in titanic. maybe i should just let go and die." nooo idea where the titanic reference came from or why i thought that was applicable or appropriate but i was DELIRIOUS. oh and also i told him "you can have my bike it's a good one" which i think is very considerate of me to be thinking so sweetly like that while on my death bed. really, i have not the faintest idea why i felt like leonardo dicaprio but i sort of like that i texted it because it's the closest i'll get to a drunk text and sometimes i feel a little left out from that whole drunk texting culture. just kidddinggg i don't (mom). 

anyways, the point of the story is. last night, i almost died. and also today too. yes, it was already 117 degrees outside (estimates, guys, estimates) and i made the poor choice of wearing winter knee socks and combat boots (and a cute little polka dot summer dress just fyi) BUT i was SOOOO SOOOO hot. i was walking down the street like a crazy person stomping and sweating profusely, thermometer in mouth. i know that sounds a little over the top but my dad told me to take my temperature and then call him and i was on my way to work at this cuteeee little vintage store (omg VINTEDGE. it's in the antique showplace on 25th and 6th and you HAVE to come if  you live in new york and you're not one of my many international readers) but anywaysss i thought sitting in the store with a thermometer in my mouth would realllly turn away the costumers so instead i multi-tasked and took my temperature on the way to work. it was 98.4. what a dissappointment right? all that "i'm dying, i'm dying" talk and its 98.4?? there is NO way. i know my temperature is at least 99.9. but whatevverrr. i guess i will live and i don't have to divide all my belongings amongst my friends and family. although for the record, jen, you were totally gonna get my sequins. isn't that nice? when i was younger, i used to LOVE those shel silverstein books with all the little poems and stories and there was one that i used to read ALL the time. it went like this:

now i lay me down to sleep

i pray the lord my soul to keep

and if i die before i wake

i pray the lord my toys to break

so none of the other kids can use them.

so touching. that really resonated with me. but clearly i have grown up into a lovely sharing individual and not the selfish little brat that re-read that poem every night before bed.

anyways, despite my anti-climatic temperature reading, i really do think i'm a little bit sick. send chex mix, flowers, and sequined sweaters to brooklyn.