first position...

today, my ipod died on the subway so i did ballerina poses to entertain myself for the other four stops that i had to ride music-less. not pirouettes or anything fancy like that (i wish) but just your basic first position, second position, third position type stuff. also, i used the subway pole to balance so i could see if i could get up on my toes. (i could) (sort of) 

so anyways, i'm being a ballerina and stuff in first position which btw i'm incredible at and a man pointed at me and said "ballerina?" anddd naturally i said yes. i mean i know it's a lie but what kind of ass stands on the subway doing ballerina poses when they're NOT a ballerina? 

in other news, i'm scared i'm turning crazy. i've developed all these bizarro fears and paranoias that are ridiculous. i'm seriousss, if i keep going down this route, i'm going to turn out to be one of those old ladies that tells you not to make funny faces because your face will stay like that. you know the type.

first of all, i'm scared of my apartment. i'm scared of my fire escape because i feel like someone can climb up the fire escape and kidnap me and i'm scared of our first floor big windows because they are huge and high up and i'm scared of falling out. BUT to make myself seem even crazier, i don't have these as 2 separate fears. what i'm ACTUALLY scared about is that somebody is going to climb up my fire escape, carry me to the first floor, and throw me out the window. see? (crazy)

ALSO. i'm scared of the subway stations. i'm almost positive that i am going to fall down the stairs and knock my teeth out. omg i'm one of those moms!! the ones that tell their kids not to run on the stairs but it's WORSE because it's ME telling me. i have gone insane. i'm almost positive that one day i am going to be walking down the stairs to catch the train and someone is going to come running behind me, i'll go flying forward and BAM my teeth are out. the other day, i actually covered my mouth while walking to catch the train so as to prevent the inevitable teeth knock out

basically, i'm a paranoid freak. 

but i'm also a ballerina so whatevaaaa.