fyi

to everyone that is on the edge of your seat dying to see my clothes previously mentioned, here's some photo references of my new favorite dad shirt and tranny boots. and SCOOBY. oh my god he was soooo cute when i went home i couldn't even take it. normally he doesn't do much for me (i know, i'm terrible) but something about scooby this past trip to richmond was so snuggly and adorable, i died. he was the cutest little munchkin i've ever seen. see, i do have a heart.

just sayin.

i look really cool today. really, i do. 

i'm gonna go out on a limb and say 8 out of 10 people would agree with me. and the only reason the 2 wouldn't agree is because they're a little uptight and i'm wearing boots i got off a website for strippers and drag-queens and they just wouldn't understand how that type of shoe could be applied in real life. but it can. 

(one time, when i was 12, my friend and i got our make-up done at the mall and when we showed my mom, she told us we looked like "drag....gon princesses" yes. she told us we looked like dragon princesses. she started with dragqueen and decided it was inappropriate and that we would somehow accept dragon princesses. we didn't.)

also. i have worn the same shirt almost every day. i can't stop. its so soft and comfortable and the perfect length and size (XXXXL-ish. love it) and i don't care that i have become a serious outfit repeater. i do NOT care, it's amazinggg and it says "proud to be a pop, my kid got me this shirt". oh i'm so witty. get it? because like i'm a girl without kids and it says im a dad with children that buy me clothes. i know, it's good. i will not take it off. i want to wear it every day. and sleep in it. and wear it again. but with really great accessories and boots and socks and studs and furs and sequins.

anyways. the point of this story is- today, i look cool. and when i walked to work, i sort of felt like people agreed. and the whole way to work, i listened to spice girls and dixie chicks. i felt like i was tricking people along the way like yupp you think my boots are cool huh? little do you know what a loser i reallllllly am (cue baby spice singing "when 2 become 1")

byeeeee.

my thoughts.

thanks so much for turning my plane seat into a brookstone vibrating massage chair, flight 3045, but i think next time, i'm ok without it.  i've developed a SERIOUS fear of flying over the past few years. it doesn't help that i have an overactive mind and that all i hear on the news are stories about musicians and djs jumping out of burning planes and plane passengers swimming in the river (ok 2 stories but IM SCARED) 

flights are not fun anymore. you don't get pretzels and instead of sleeping or carelessly reading trashy magazines, i spend my time dissecting different situations for what i'll do when the wing falls off or we run into a cloud or a baby bird. i just want to enjoy flying like i used to instead of stressing out & calming myself with dramatic playlists. today's plane crash playlist included a repeat of halleluyah- jeff buckley, fix you- coldplay, and we are the champions. i know that last one's not depressing and dramatic but it was stuck in my head and if the plane was going down, i wanted something triumphant.

in other news, the other day, i decided that i hate animals. i then realized this made me a terrible person and switched my viewpoint to i hate animals that aren't squishy (pronounce as squooshy please) little fluff puff doggies on the street that you could pick up and snuggle and squish- soooo cuteeee. but the big unsquishables- BLEH. 

and CATS- the absolute worst. if you tried squishing a cat, it would probably just scratch your face and then walk all over your counter or something. ugh.

ALSO. i want a career where i can sit and eat at balthazar for 2 hours in the afternoon. i don't even really like balthazar but sometimes in the frenzy of a hectic stylist assistant job, i see people lunching and i want that. i want to lunch. i want a job where i can tell people what i'm bad at while showing them what i'm good at. like "oh, i am SOOO disorganized and forgetful. i could never be an assistant! but look at this couture dress i just whipped up out of fringe and candy wrappers!" right now, i'm still in that stage where you have to be on top of things. i don't want to be on top of things. i just want to have summer picnics in floral crop tops and ripped jean shorts with colorful socks and doc marten boots. that's my summer look, don't steal it. (i mean you, matthew.)

ANYWAYSSSS. richmond for the weekend!! sooooo glad. sometimes, you just have to go home. even if takes a plane to get there.

ooo didn't that sound like a sex and the city line?

ugh.

i LITERALLY slipped on a banana peel this morning on my way to work. i'm serious.

OMG CLARISSA F-ING EXPLAINS IT ALL.

i love you

"you'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap"- Dolly Parton

WE GOT TATS

if you know me, then you probably know that tattoos really intrigue me and really scare me. if you have a tattoo, i will most likely want to know the life story behind why you got it and then it will most likely blow my mind. matthew says this makes me very "normal".  and i think a little bit un-cool too.

ANYWAYS.

i had this dream once where i woke up and i had gotten a huge gun tattooed under my arm and i was SO upset. it was really terrible. and all i kept doing was crying about how nobody would ever trust me with their children again. i don't really know what that meant, to be honest. apparently i was some sort of professional babysitter and the gun tattoo was a seriousss career ruiner. but anyways, the gun tattoo was really scarring and since then, i've had other bizarre tattoo nightmares.  one time, i got tyra banks tattooed on my leg but really it looked exactly like kirstie allie and when i went up to show tyra that i had tattooed her face on my body, she didn't even care. she was not even appreciative! typical.

anywaysssss. i would never get a tattoo. it's way, way too permanent and i'm way, way too un-cool.

but this weekend we discovered that fake tattoos are a really great time and come in packs of like 100 for $5.00. WHAT A DEAL! with categories like "princess diva" and "motorcycle psycho". or something  along those lines.

i mean, no big deal, it's just tats guys.