YES!

that was too easy. LADY GAGA!!! see you saturday night. fo FREE!!

yeah yeahhhh

my yoga instructor was a real pain in the ass today. literally. i am hurting. that's too much energy to expend at 7 am. and he was wearing a button down shirt. i find that highly inappropriate for yoga class. he should be in like spandex and yoga pants and yoga shoes and a yoga hat. he is the INSTRUCTOR. he just walks around telling everyone else what to do and making some breathing noises here and there to encourage weirdness. i'm questioning if he actually even knows yoga, to be honest. it must be easy to instruct everyone on the leaping frog warrior dog pose when you're just pacing the room in business casual attire.

in other news, lady gaga is SOOO good. god.

arts and crafts.

i bought chains from home depot the other day and made a necklace. i wish i could say that in a funnier way for your reading entertainment but there's really not much wittiness about it. it's really good though and i think i should be able to wear it at least 3 more times before my head falls off. i hate the smell of home depot. 

ooolalaaaa.

yesterday, when i was at saks working on a freelance job, i asked michael in studio services if i could try on wedding dresses the next time i came in. i was sort of kiddinggg.. actually no i was completely serious. i had caught a glimpse of a soon-to-be-bride being ridiculous in the bridal room and also it sounded like more fun than shopping for an avon body wash ad. oh, and i also asked for him to have candy in his office.  

sure enoughhhhh this morning when i got to saks, michael, bff and love of my life, had two 10,000 dollar wedding dresses waiting for me. and a bowl of chocolates. awwwww. i do.

(i know this is a lot of pictures but ummm this is kind of a special day for me ok?)

new addition to the family.

baby lizard ring from jen. i love it i love it. i will cherish it with all my heart and love it like i love my sweet baby fox. and i will try realllllly hard to to be responsible and hold on to it at all times. thank you.

worst dressed 08

the fun thing about dressing the way i do and taking as many pictures as i take is that every few months i get to go back and have my own mini worst-dressed list.  i've discovered tonight through careful dissection of my i-photo library that my worst outfits tend to fall on the nights i decide to forgo pants .. unfortunately for me, this is 99% of the time. anyways. below are a few gems i have found along the way. shield your eyes.

i think i honestly thought. what would be realllly necessary for a fun night? a bowling ball, a straw hat, a mexican shirt, and leopard socks. PERFECT.

somebody take the orange heels away from me PLEASE. i got them in italy 5 YEARS AGO. get over ittttt. lovely hair bow though.

i spent more money on the 1 pound sugar daddy than my entire outfit. 

one time, i wore this. 

ok fine, if i'm going to embarass myself, i may as well do it honestly. one time, i wore this. 

and this...

stripes, diaper shorts, moccassins? chloe?? it's time to let the bag go. really. no matter how "really excited yeahhhh hahaa" that you were. give it up.

oh umm haaayyy guys i just didn't want you to forget where i lived. and that i love sequins! and spandex! oh fine, forget it. i actually like this outfit.

this vest was funny. so funny that i spent 13 dollars to take it home with me and be even funnier.

really, the best thing to wear with high waisted american flag shorts is the vest i used to wear as a waitress. and tie-dye. and tights. and keds. OH MY GOD. get a mirror.

very flattering. 

in case you can't tell, these tights sparkle. i don't really think i need to say more? oh, the saddle shoes. 

the point of the story is. sometimes i wear ugly things. it's not to say that i'll stop wearing them. or even that i'll start wearing pants. i'm just saying that i'm aware.

inspiration

in other news...

it has also been brought to my attention that yoga for the people is actually yoga TO the people. oops.

i had an exhilarating class today. still don't know my left and right but the pigeon sit was terrible so i'm assuming i'm starting to do things correctly. the girl in front of me honestly thought she was on cirque du soleil or something. (i just had to google that like 3 times to get it spelled correctly) really, she thought she was the yoga queen. it was like ok babe we get it. you're good at yoga. no need to do a backwards bend and triple flip when the teacher just tells you to touch your toes.

also my yoga teacher said i was the star of the class.  not trying to brag or anything. you know, just sayin...

ATTENTION ATTENTION

it has just been brought to my attention that my friend dave did yoga at yoga for the people last sunday NEXT TO AN OLSEN.

i am furious. and i know there is NO way michelle tanner will be waking up tomorrow morning at 7 am to do yoga moves to the sweet sound of the gong.

either way, i'll be up again bright and early. hoping.

brooklyn.

child's pose please.

this morning, i woke up at 6 am and did a yoga class. YUP that's right i awoke with the sun and did early morning yoga at yoga for the people on st. marks.

i'm not sure what motivated me more- the fact that it's almost summer and time to shape up or the fact that i heard there was a mary-kate olsen spotting at yoga for the people a few months back. ok let's not kid ourselves, we obviously know why i went.

ANYWAYS. yoga is the most ridiculous thing. talk about a bunch of over-acters. is it REALLLY necessary to exhale by saying AHHHHHH, are you really thatttt refreshed and relaxed when exhaling? get yourself into a drama class people.

but really, if this class taught me anything it's that i have NO concept of left and right. you'd think after 23 years, i'd have gotten a clue- but honestly, no idea. i've always done that little hand trick, where the hand that's an L is left but when you're in the peeing dog position and one hand is twisted around your butt and the other is like, making gun signs in the air, my hand is not available for the L trick and i am completely lost.

it's a bit too spiritual for me too, to be honest. i'm not really the type to be one with nature, lifting my heart to the ceiling while listening to a 7th grade sarah mclaughlin cd, but fine, i'll take it. i only wish the place had mirrors so i could see just how much of an ass i made of myself.

when we started the class, we did "child's pose" and the teacher said something along the lines of "if during the class, your body is telling you to go back to child's pose, follow that. go to child's pose" and i was thinking. my body would NEVER tell me to go to child's pose- i haven't even the faintest idea of what child's pose is. and then came the crouching tiger, hidden dragon, doggie dance or something and i have never been more familiar with child's pose in my life. my body was screaming child's pose.

then there was a move called the pigeon sit. or something. peacock? i don't know. the teacher said when he started yoga, it was the hardest thing he had ever done. and i mean, not to brag or anything, but it didn't hurt me a bit. so either i'm a serious yoga pro and need to be teaching the class next week, or i should go in a few minutes early next time and ask for someone to teach me the correct way to do yoga.

also, one girl wore a bodysuit. what a show off. but i'm definitely wearing one next time. if i'm waking up with the birds, i'm at least going to do it with style.

OHHH. and at the end of the class, the teacher played a GONG! a gong?! the last time someone played a gong, i was in 3rd grade on stage at the pinchbeck elementary school gong show wearing a mexican dress and a side ponytail, shaking a maraca to la bamba with 7 of my friends.

to conclude, i think yoga is completely absurd and i will continue to go 3 times a week mostly because it's funny and another excuse to wear a leotard.

oh, and also for mary-kate. always, for mary-kate.

UPDATE UPDATE!!

so remember my new most prized possession- my beautiful 80s ebay bikini shirt? welllll. imagine my excitment when it came in the mail to my house and then imagine my dismay when the shirt was made for the size of a build-a-bear!! i'm SERIOUS- it says one size fits most but what they forgot to say was one size fits most BABIES. thanks a lot matthew from seattle, now i know why your feedback is only 99.3%! because .07 percent of the time you trick people with baby bikini t-shirts.

UGHHHHHH. all i wanted to do was wear the bikini shirt as a cute little summer dress so that people would be like wowww nice bod, great bathing suit, omg wait no! that's a t-shirt!? but i'm not fooling ANYBODY when that 80s bathing suit crotch is above my belly button now am i?

if anybody knows a trendy baby, let me know. i have a present for them.

thrifted

i've been kind of on a roll lately with thrift store buys. i will prove this to you below.

(sorry for the dark lipstick mom)

florals florals florals i cannot get enoughhhh!! especially when it's seven dollars and comes with a matching floral jacket that is just gross enough to be perfection!!

sequins sequins sequins!! i love vests and i love sequins. gimme 4 dollars and BAM. ta-dah.

the other night i decided to change outfits in the car before going out so i threw on a crop top and high-waisted shorts. are you on the edge of your seats yet? wellllll i mis-calculated my proportions and was wearing a midriff! not just that cute little peek of skin between high shorts and short shirts- it was a legitimate 90s belly button midriff. what a travesty. but reallyyy i may bring the midriff back. summer is hot and this shirt may be perfect for doing that 80s loop and tie. also, it may substitute as a jail outfit if i get arrested or a referee outfit if i get caught in a soccer game.

the only thing better than seven dollar floral high waisted pants is me, lea, and jen all buying the SAME seven dollar floral high waisted pants. i know, i'd be jealous too.

this shirt is athletic. i am not. but it has my number on it, 11, and it's comfortable and 1 dollar at salvation army. SOLDDD.

sometimes i just buy sequins so it's less sequins that other people can buy.

i am obsessedddd with this dress. best buy of the weekend? i think soooo. so um, summer can you like, get here? i'm wearing florals and shorts every day. GET A CLUE.

united states naval academy jacket. i needed this. i saw it and i couldn't part with it. now i never have to.

anyways, i think that's a good little wrap up for now. i have another amaaaaaazing richmond find but it's temporarily on loan for an 80s party. pictures soon-ish. think pearls. and shoulder pads. mmmhmmmmm.

awww daddy-o.

this is good.

alien eyes.

ohhhhyeahhhh.

this is my new prized possession coming to me soon via ebay. i'm exciteddddd. i think it's going to be a delightful summer wear. i love that the bathing suit is awful and the legs look like breadsticks, instead of one of those sexy bods in the leopard bathing suits with the cleavage pushed up to the neck. i think this is definitely more my style. ebay is really dangerous for me because i feel like it's a game and that i can always win. but really it's like umm no you're just the only idiot willing to pay 19.99 for the 3 dollar t-shirt from waves surfshop.

anywaysssss i'm thrilled. WEEKEND!! yayyyyy.