i like these.

things to say

i'm very bad at consistently updating this but today, i feel that i have some bloggable things to say. god, blog is like THE dorkiest word isn't it? 

anywaysss, i've had some very important life changes lately. the first being i had two flights that were ON TIME. for normal people with good luck and karma and all that stuff this aint no thang but for me this is like MAGIC. i have spent the past 23 years of my life on delayed and canceled flights. all while maintaining a sunny and pleasant disposition, might i add. but on this particular trip to and from richmond, it was like BAM flights at 6:00? let's take off at 5:59! wanna get back to new york by 8:30? BAM. in the gate by 8:15. yuppp. things are looking up for me.

alsoooo, the second thing is i left my job to pursue other creative endeavors. basically, i am retired. just kiddinggg but realllly it's kind of a big deal. and creative endeavors sounds pretty good to me. i have projects in the works. ill keep you updated when i feel they are bloggable enough.

i also have some things to say about my day today. ok here i go. after a productive morning of shortening, sewing, and pocketing.. (adding pockets? i dont know... it needed an ing on the end), i decided to continue my productivity and do my little errands. first, i dropped my camera off at best buy to be sent away and fixed.. or replaced (replaced i hopeeee). this was sort of a tragedy for me. i felt like i was giving away my baby. my little baby that smokes when i take too many pictures in a row. and my little baby with an annoying scribble on the screen that seems to be there for no other apparent reason than to freak my friends out when i playback pictures and they think there is some weird stain on their clothes or smudge on their faces. i will actually really miss those reactions. but the time has come to send my little canon away for hopefully something newer and prettier and more updated (i'm not that attached.. clearly)

thennnn i went to the phone store to replace my phone cover that has mysteriously cracked after dropping my phone 308 times. thank god for warranties. so you know how these phone places are... you sit, you wait, you walk around, wait some more. well today i sat. i waited. i walked. and i sat again. for 48 minutes. and then i made the cell phone man open three different cases to find my exact phone cover to replace but to my surprise it was NOWHERE to be found. exasperated, i said "they told me i could go to ANY verizon store and they would have it" to which he replied.. "this is sprint"

WHOOPSIESSSSS.

12 minutes later, i spent 53 minutes waiting at verizon (i checked this time) which apparently also serves as a veterinarian office.  really, 3 people brought their dogs. 1 person had 2 dogs, the rest had 1 each. this makes 4 little dogs in 1 little verizon store,  2 of whom were fighting and 2 of whom were like smelling eachothers butts or something gross and unsanitary that dogs do. is this an SAT problem solving equation or what? well i'll tell you what this all adds up to. the answer is ANNOYING. i have no compassion for little fighting, smelling animals. anywayssss 53 minutes later, verizon told me that they did not have black cell phone covers and nope sorry we can only exchange for the exact color. welll welll welllll i did NOT use my sunny airport disposition and ta-dah. my little black cracked cover was replaced with a shiny new blue metallic cover. thanks babeeees.

also a bottle of lotion exploded in my bag. but i really have no jokes about that or ways to make it funny and worth reading. there were no up-sides. it wasn't even a beautiful smelling lotion that would  at least make my purse smell like roses or vanilla or cucumber melon. it's just grossness and now my entire life, which i carry with me like mary poppins in my bag, is covered in unscented lotion.

WHAT A DAY.

12:52 am

awww.

remember me?

hiii. here i am again.

i just found this "memo" i left for myself a few months ago in my handy dandy (ew i've never said handy dandy before in my life) memo-pad in my blackberry.

I NEED THESE THINGS

floral anything
crop tops
colorful socks
shoes to go with my colorful socks
stud things
bubbleicious
chains on my jean shorts
mickey ears. sequin? probably
do i want bangs? maybeee
dress up more you are lazy.

god i'm so organized.

if you're a bird, i'm a bird.

i found these pictures from last summer at the coney island mermaid parade and fell in love with my friends all over again. awww. it was one of the funnest days of summer. summer!!!!!!!!! now get your act together new york and stop this rain.

awwwwuhh.

i've been a very bad poster lately and i'm sure somewhere in me i can find interesting and exciting things to talk about but at the moment i am entirely invested in the real housewives of new york reunion and i must give the ladies my complete undivided attention. for now, i will leave you with a wonderful little picture of me, lea, liz, and jen at union pool last night. you have no idea how long it took us to figure out how to divide ourselves to have equal photobooth time with each-other. clearly, we are not mathemeticians so i decided to shove my face in the camera and call it a day. typical. whatevaaa.

flair.

today, my outfit had a lot of "aspects". allow me to state the obvious in colorful bad handwriting.

stairs.

our elevator is broken. we live on the fifth floor. the first two floors are duplexes so we have to walk SEVEN floors to get home. i know seven floors doesn't sound like a lot but trust me. it is. these are not little baby floors, these are FLOORS. if i lived on the eighth floor i would literally park a tent in the lobby and call it a day. a month, actually. the elevator will be out for A MONTH. the truth is, i shouldn't be complaining. but yeah nope, that's not stopping me. our management company has so nicely decided to take 900 dollars off our rent this month which is amaaaaaazing. really completely incredible. but i'm still not exactly marching up the stairs with a smile. apparently, i am THE most out of shape person. i know, i know, it's shocking considering the extensive yoga training i have been partaking in but i am really, like, weak and lazy. i literally fall into my apartment every day sweating and panting like i've run a 10k. i don't get it. lea and i have discussed and she thinks that hulk hogan WOULD get winded walking to the fifth floor but lance armstrong and marathon runners would not. endurance trainers, if you will. she thinks that hulk's weight-lifting would still not be enough to propel him up our stairs without breaking a sweat. so at least i am not alone. basically, it's just a really terrible situation. i tipped a delivery man 5 dollars on a bagel the other day because i felt so bad about the trek he had to take to get to me. and also felt like punishing myself for being lazy enough to have a bagel delivered to my apartment. anywaysssss. that's my life these days. at least it makes for good photoshoots in the stairway.

yogarama.

i know i've had a lot of yoga talk recently but for some reason i just feel that i have so much to talk about every time i do it. tonight, jen talked naomi and i into taking a yoga class at club h. i was hesitant because that meant straying from my beloved yoga to the people and also meant i was doing warriors and downward dogs without even the smallest chance of a mary kate sighting. anyways. i caved and did the fancy gym style yoga. enter richard, my adorable flamboyant yogi. (yoga people are called yogis, fyi for you novices..) richard wasn't into the dramatic ahhhhsss but he was very into the hommmmmssss. very spiritual. it was a lot of yoga language. so we manaste'd and chicarangua'd and shivaste'd all class. and also talked about butts. really. richard would say now chicarangua your manaste and put your hand on your butt while in anase. move your butt flesh and pour your heart into a tavasha. i'm SERIOUS. i love shivasa-ing. i think there may be a specific way you are supposed to be posed for your shivasa (take my terminology verrrry loosely) but for my purposes, it's basically a lovely little nap. the boy next to me overdid his shivasa and was snoring. ALSO. people were doing hand stands and walking on their elbows and things like that. there was legitimate acrobatics involved. richard instructed all the beginner yogis to stay behind so while naomi and i were attempting to spread our feet hips width apart and put our hands above our heads, expert yogis were balancing on one finger and doing lotus positions while floating in mid air. one day...

gagarama.

so. last night i went to lady gaga's concert. i went feeling a little too cool for school, saying i had heard only 2 songs, and left realizing i knew the words to every single one.  i may as well have gone covered in glitter with a hair bow. that gaga. i'm completely entranced by this persona she has created for herself. it's unreal. and even more impressive is that she sticks to it. she must sit on airplanes in sequined leotards and 6 inch stilettos. i mean. i love a bedazzled outfit but i'd die without the option of a messy tee and some sort of ripped bottom. and she's SOOOOO good. realllllly good. not like me doing my american idol voice good.  she's like legitimately completely amazing. i've changed my ringtone and watched her acoustic version of paparazzi like 700 times in her honor. yupppp. i've now seen hillary duff, ashlee simpson, and lady gaga in concert. i am officially a 14 year old girl. or a gay man. take your pick. 

bam.

doo do do doooooo. (read to the tune of opening music. like that bugle sound. you know what i'm talking about)

my new favorite things. oh, and as usual, sorry for the pouty faces but i'm pretty sure everything looks 10% cooler when i'm not smiling.


my new best sweatshirt. it's so lovely in it's boringness. i love saying lovely. it sounds so. lovely, i guess. and i think you can never go wrong with horizontal stripes. i'll probably change my mind later but for now it was 5 dollars and i'm happy.

there's not really anything exciting to say about this. just another gem to add to my collections of XL dirty t-shirts that may be worn with or without pants. AND. it goes perfectly with my treasured collection of fake motorcycle tattoos. great.

6 minutes before i bought these shorts, i was thinking how much i hated high-waisted pants and that i would never be caught dead in a high waist again. a fashion faux paux, if you will. (i have no idea if i used that term correctly, according to wikipedia, i did not. whatevaaa) anywayssss, then i walked into metropolis and bought high-waisted shorts. i'm a hypocrite.

this is my new fave because it is leopard print and can be put in the category "gross 90s" which apparently is what i am gravitating to recently. i feel like it's one of those shirts that a cool mom would wear to her child's school picnic. also it ties on the sleeves which i am sort of against but trying to embrace so i can just let the shirt be who it is. the only thing that would make this more desirable is a snap crotch. very 1994 trendy mom. love it.

for my 21st birthday, we went to a line dancing bar in st. louis. we all wore flannels. i may or may not have been wearing cowboy boots. apparently line dancing is not a joke and flannels and boots are not appropriate. the regulars line danced like pros in jeans and tees, we attempted to line dance in ridiculous costumes. we were terrible and we looked like idiots. it was the best birthday. this shirt would have been perfection.

someone tried tricking me out of buying this. she said she had tried it on and the zipper was broken and that i should put it back. and then she loitered waiting for me to release the goods. sorry for her but i cannot be fooled. especially when dealing with sequined shoulderpads and beaded fringe. not a chance. i went in the dressing room and ZPPPPPP.. zipped perfectly. in your face, sequin stealer. and it was 20 dollars. boooyaaa. my closet is exploding sequin costumes these days and i am thrilled.

k thanks love ya byeee.

good morningggggg america.

this morning, mel and i went to the today show to see no doubt. i wanted to go at 4. she wanted to go at 7. she said we weren't 14 and did not need to be in the front row. i said i was 15 and did need to be in the front row. we compromised on 7:20. we were in the back.

i honestly did not see gwen stefani at all. but everybody else and their moms did. really, there were a lot of moms. dads, too. it was a bizarro crowd for a band that was most popular when i was 13. the only times i would actually catch a glimpse of gwen were through other people's cameras. i would jump up and down and strain my neck and she would be nowhere to be found and then bam. on the foreigner's camera in front of me. she was an optical illusion. anyways, "sorry i'm not home right now, walking in a spiderweb", is one of the most terrible/best lyrics.